Results can be scary

First of all I Quit smoking Yeah ME!!!!! its been about 2 months and I feel great . I had my appointment with oncologist and received the results of scans. The CT scan showed a spot on my lung but it is very small .They will be doing another scan in a few months. I can let my thoughts go all over the place but that is not healthy. I had a few cries and got it out of my system and now its forward on with life!! I have a wedding to look forward to in July and I am focusing on all the planning ...I have also started the Thrive program, had my assessment and they put together an exercise program to suit me. It doesn't seem like a lot to do but I tend to do to much then end up in pain for a week so that is the whole idea of starting slow and building up my fitness level:)))))

Mammagram

Today I had a mammogram . I was worried about the pain level as I am still pretty tender after fighting infection in Dec. The scan went well and the tech was very nice, Kevin and I were out of there in less then an hour. I have a bone scan on Thursday and ct in a few weeks .
Its hard not to think of all possible outcomes of these test and part of me goes to that dark place where that monster once was , I refuse to stay in that place too long so I push and redirect my thoughts to a more positive and happy place . Its not always easy to do, I'm trying to get use to the new normal but haven't quite figured out what that is!?
The best thing that works for me is taking one day at a time . I wake up and try to better improve my life on some level .It may be physical or mental or some time its both but I know each small step is a step closer to feeling some sort of new normal that will work for me :) .

Still riding the wave but now it all about getting healthy!!!!!!

To make it quick...Adkins works well but will not be a life style change that will work for me ...I did manage to lose about 20 lb. I then needed more carbs ..I realize its still about a low carb diet but needed to tweak it and add more healthy carbs and have a day in the week to cheat also cut back on portion size...  The health plan im working on now is to work on getting strength  back in my body, I have to work on walking I have to go to curves I have to do my exercises that work for for my injured side  for physiotherapy reasons. I am also trying to quit smoking next I will be trying a nicotine spray..they were sold out at walmart... keep you all posted.
I received my appointments for my mamagram and bone scane the first week of march.....love and health

Just want to feel normal

I have many things to be greatful for the list is very long and I make a point of thinking about it everyday..Im done treatment well the stuff I needed to go to cc for but Im still feeling not only physical but also mental not normal..I know that everyday is a better one and closer to me heeling in all ways to completly get over cancer...I keep the fight going by staying positive and pushing myself to go out and live life but beleive me its not alway easy.Somedays are hard when you look in the mirror ,this may seem very vain but really its nothing to do with that .Its more to do with looking not normal you have the cancer look.I hate having it after 10 months of fighting sometimes it just would go out of my brain for just one day........

Radiation

Its been a long time since I wrote here . I think between the physical pain and bouts of depression I just wasn't up for writing . I have finished chemo and have had 10 rounds of radiation . I feel some of my strength has come back . Radiation treatments are a daily trip to the cancer centre . The whole process only takes about 20 mins. I am utilising the volunteer cancer drivers ,its a great program and have met some very good people , I am very grateful to be able to benefit from the program .
Things are going well so far I am over half way done and fatigue has not gotten any worse. I am feeling some aches around affected areas. They give you a cream to put on and I am using it quite liberally.
My hair is starting to grow but its like a new baby's hair . I am sooo longing to have my hair back .
I have been overweight for the past 20 years and put more weight on during this whole treatment between chemo meds, steroids ,and depression I have been watching the scale go up . During chemo I didn't want to deal with it but now I am in a place where I feel I am ready to get my body in shape. I started the Adkins diet (low carb /high protein ) I feel it is a good fit for me and the added protein should help with all the tissue damage. I am also going to be starting a program designed for people going through the cancer  process. It will consist of a personal trainer to help with targeted physical therapy. Going through all the treatments for cancer to survive and live longer it just makes sense to me to start treating my body better .Its been a week of very little carbs but |I feel good and not having any major cravings for bread, pasta ,sugar etc.. and for once the scale has gone down ...7 lbs whoo hoo  it feels good .

Docetaxel..round 1

Had my first dose of Docetaxel on June 8th . The first 3 days were good I was even going for an half hour walk but then all hell broke loose . The next week was dealing with a whole lot of side effects from stomach problems to severe bone pain and mouth sores .. I was in contact with oncologist and meds were prescribed to lesson effects . Then I started to spike temps and lymph node on neck began to swell up trip to emerge and was told it was viral and not much to do for it just had to watch temp .
I've overcome from most of the side effects . I am finding my energy level is getting low. I haven't been writing much as I have been having issues with my right wrist .

May 28th , at the cancer centre today to get blood work and trial drug injection .. They have decided to reduce my chemo dose by 15% due to extreme side effects . My blood came back and red blood count is really low , this is the reason I've been tired and headache she suggested to eat some liver lol .
They will continue with chemo tomorrow as my white count is good .


Had treatment today it went well although there was allot of anxiety going in,  my heart rate was up .Good job for adivan it calmed me down . On antibiotic for the next week as I started to get infection around picc line site .

One more round to go!!!!!!!! can't wait for this to be over and feel normal again or at least somewhat .

Round 3/ Ugh!

Blood work went good on Monday and then Tuesday they inserted a picc (a catheter that goes in my vein ) It all went smoothly and the health care team were pretty awesome it was pretty much painless,
having this put in meant my chemo went a lot easier as far as injection and damage to my skin, veins and arms . It will be left in my arm for the duration of my chemo treatments . I can't lift more then 5 lbs and have a nurse come in once a week for dressing change and flushing . It is all worth it in the end .
Treatment day was ok felt some extreme nausea as it was being administered but other then that energy and spirits were up for a few days I suspect the increase in steroids and anti nausea meds have helped .
Day 5 and things are going down hill fast.  2 days of extreme nausea , mouth and throat changes . It feels like razor blades all throughout my tongue and throat . Times like this I feel like giving up but I push myself to get out of bed and ride the wave , as I know once again It will not last forever and it will pass. I had a good idea that this round would be a tough one as its the last dose of the  "red stuff" I will have a 4 week break this time . I am at the half way mark !!! 3 more rounds to go and I will be soooo glad when this is all behind me .