I have many things to be greatful for the list is very long and I make a point of thinking about it everyday..Im done treatment well the stuff I needed to go to cc for but Im still feeling not only physical but also mental not normal..I know that everyday is a better one and closer to me heeling in all ways to completly get over cancer...I keep the fight going by staying positive and pushing myself to go out and live life but beleive me its not alway easy.Somedays are hard when you look in the mirror ,this may seem very vain but really its nothing to do with that .Its more to do with looking not normal you have the cancer look.I hate having it after 10 months of fighting sometimes it just would go out of my brain for just one day........
Sunday, 23 September 2012
Monday, 6 August 2012
Radiation
Its been a long time since I wrote here . I think between the physical pain and bouts of depression I just wasn't up for writing . I have finished chemo and have had 10 rounds of radiation . I feel some of my strength has come back . Radiation treatments are a daily trip to the cancer centre . The whole process only takes about 20 mins. I am utilising the volunteer cancer drivers ,its a great program and have met some very good people , I am very grateful to be able to benefit from the program .
Things are going well so far I am over half way done and fatigue has not gotten any worse. I am feeling some aches around affected areas. They give you a cream to put on and I am using it quite liberally.
My hair is starting to grow but its like a new baby's hair . I am sooo longing to have my hair back .
I have been overweight for the past 20 years and put more weight on during this whole treatment between chemo meds, steroids ,and depression I have been watching the scale go up . During chemo I didn't want to deal with it but now I am in a place where I feel I am ready to get my body in shape. I started the Adkins diet (low carb /high protein ) I feel it is a good fit for me and the added protein should help with all the tissue damage. I am also going to be starting a program designed for people going through the cancer process. It will consist of a personal trainer to help with targeted physical therapy. Going through all the treatments for cancer to survive and live longer it just makes sense to me to start treating my body better .Its been a week of very little carbs but |I feel good and not having any major cravings for bread, pasta ,sugar etc.. and for once the scale has gone down ...7 lbs whoo hoo it feels good .
Things are going well so far I am over half way done and fatigue has not gotten any worse. I am feeling some aches around affected areas. They give you a cream to put on and I am using it quite liberally.
My hair is starting to grow but its like a new baby's hair . I am sooo longing to have my hair back .
I have been overweight for the past 20 years and put more weight on during this whole treatment between chemo meds, steroids ,and depression I have been watching the scale go up . During chemo I didn't want to deal with it but now I am in a place where I feel I am ready to get my body in shape. I started the Adkins diet (low carb /high protein ) I feel it is a good fit for me and the added protein should help with all the tissue damage. I am also going to be starting a program designed for people going through the cancer process. It will consist of a personal trainer to help with targeted physical therapy. Going through all the treatments for cancer to survive and live longer it just makes sense to me to start treating my body better .Its been a week of very little carbs but |I feel good and not having any major cravings for bread, pasta ,sugar etc.. and for once the scale has gone down ...7 lbs whoo hoo it feels good .
Tuesday, 29 May 2012
Docetaxel..round 1
Had my first dose of Docetaxel on June 8th . The first 3 days were good I was even going for an half hour walk but then all hell broke loose . The next week was dealing with a whole lot of side effects from stomach problems to severe bone pain and mouth sores .. I was in contact with oncologist and meds were prescribed to lesson effects . Then I started to spike temps and lymph node on neck began to swell up trip to emerge and was told it was viral and not much to do for it just had to watch temp .
I've overcome from most of the side effects . I am finding my energy level is getting low. I haven't been writing much as I have been having issues with my right wrist .
May 28th , at the cancer centre today to get blood work and trial drug injection .. They have decided to reduce my chemo dose by 15% due to extreme side effects . My blood came back and red blood count is really low , this is the reason I've been tired and headache she suggested to eat some liver lol .
They will continue with chemo tomorrow as my white count is good .
Had treatment today it went well although there was allot of anxiety going in, my heart rate was up .Good job for adivan it calmed me down . On antibiotic for the next week as I started to get infection around picc line site .
One more round to go!!!!!!!! can't wait for this to be over and feel normal again or at least somewhat .
I've overcome from most of the side effects . I am finding my energy level is getting low. I haven't been writing much as I have been having issues with my right wrist .
May 28th , at the cancer centre today to get blood work and trial drug injection .. They have decided to reduce my chemo dose by 15% due to extreme side effects . My blood came back and red blood count is really low , this is the reason I've been tired and headache she suggested to eat some liver lol .
They will continue with chemo tomorrow as my white count is good .
Had treatment today it went well although there was allot of anxiety going in, my heart rate was up .Good job for adivan it calmed me down . On antibiotic for the next week as I started to get infection around picc line site .
One more round to go!!!!!!!! can't wait for this to be over and feel normal again or at least somewhat .
Wednesday, 18 April 2012
Round 3/ Ugh!
Blood work went good on Monday and then Tuesday they inserted a picc (a catheter that goes in my vein ) It all went smoothly and the health care team were pretty awesome it was pretty much painless,
having this put in meant my chemo went a lot easier as far as injection and damage to my skin, veins and arms . It will be left in my arm for the duration of my chemo treatments . I can't lift more then 5 lbs and have a nurse come in once a week for dressing change and flushing . It is all worth it in the end .
Treatment day was ok felt some extreme nausea as it was being administered but other then that energy and spirits were up for a few days I suspect the increase in steroids and anti nausea meds have helped .
Day 5 and things are going down hill fast. 2 days of extreme nausea , mouth and throat changes . It feels like razor blades all throughout my tongue and throat . Times like this I feel like giving up but I push myself to get out of bed and ride the wave , as I know once again It will not last forever and it will pass. I had a good idea that this round would be a tough one as its the last dose of the "red stuff" I will have a 4 week break this time . I am at the half way mark !!! 3 more rounds to go and I will be soooo glad when this is all behind me .
having this put in meant my chemo went a lot easier as far as injection and damage to my skin, veins and arms . It will be left in my arm for the duration of my chemo treatments . I can't lift more then 5 lbs and have a nurse come in once a week for dressing change and flushing . It is all worth it in the end .
Treatment day was ok felt some extreme nausea as it was being administered but other then that energy and spirits were up for a few days I suspect the increase in steroids and anti nausea meds have helped .
Day 5 and things are going down hill fast. 2 days of extreme nausea , mouth and throat changes . It feels like razor blades all throughout my tongue and throat . Times like this I feel like giving up but I push myself to get out of bed and ride the wave , as I know once again It will not last forever and it will pass. I had a good idea that this round would be a tough one as its the last dose of the "red stuff" I will have a 4 week break this time . I am at the half way mark !!! 3 more rounds to go and I will be soooo glad when this is all behind me .
Friday, 30 March 2012
Hate Is A Strong Word
Hate is such a strong word not usual for my vocabulary but I Hate Cancer!!!!. This post is not going to be a pleasant one and it may be a bit of a rant .
Cancer, beware of its evil ways as you go about your life complaining about the mundane and trivial events , cancer is lurking around you . It will not grab hold of you at first its other people in your life a friend of a friend , a co-workers aunt , an uncle twice removed . You hear different stories everyday on the news ect. but your life its not touching ? but just just wait for it it will happen , it will come in on you on top of your life no warning (or very little) and like a great big ugly explosion it will pounce .
I hate cancer because of many reasons . It has no mercy and no age limit , cancer will strike anyone at anytime . It has shorten the life of too many people . The treatments have come along way but are still barbaric.... Slash , poison and burn . I hate cancer for all the suffering from the person with the disease and the people who love them and care for them . I just Hate it!!!!
Now that I got that out of my system I need to say Cancer can have positive effects on our life .
It can make us realise our mortality and bring us closer to what is really important in life , Sometimes we can get lost in our busy lives. Really most of us take for granted how important it is to go out of your way for someone important in your life . I mean we say to ourselves " I don't feel like going there for a visit " but in reality YOU should . If anything that's good that comes out of death and illness its you appreciate the time you have left in your life . As we all know we are not on this earth forever.What I am trying to say is make more time for people, go to that dinner party , walk in the park or visit a sick person in the hospital or seniors building . Make your time count here , push your love ones to get regular checkups as early detection is life or death .
Cancer, beware of its evil ways as you go about your life complaining about the mundane and trivial events , cancer is lurking around you . It will not grab hold of you at first its other people in your life a friend of a friend , a co-workers aunt , an uncle twice removed . You hear different stories everyday on the news ect. but your life its not touching ? but just just wait for it it will happen , it will come in on you on top of your life no warning (or very little) and like a great big ugly explosion it will pounce .
I hate cancer because of many reasons . It has no mercy and no age limit , cancer will strike anyone at anytime . It has shorten the life of too many people . The treatments have come along way but are still barbaric.... Slash , poison and burn . I hate cancer for all the suffering from the person with the disease and the people who love them and care for them . I just Hate it!!!!
Now that I got that out of my system I need to say Cancer can have positive effects on our life .
It can make us realise our mortality and bring us closer to what is really important in life , Sometimes we can get lost in our busy lives. Really most of us take for granted how important it is to go out of your way for someone important in your life . I mean we say to ourselves " I don't feel like going there for a visit " but in reality YOU should . If anything that's good that comes out of death and illness its you appreciate the time you have left in your life . As we all know we are not on this earth forever.What I am trying to say is make more time for people, go to that dinner party , walk in the park or visit a sick person in the hospital or seniors building . Make your time count here , push your love ones to get regular checkups as early detection is life or death .
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Them Little Hairs/Round 2
About a week ago , I felt I was in a strong frame of mind and decided I was ready to shave my head.
I had a few great friends over had some drinks and laughs and yes some tears . Overall it went really well and It was the best decision .The past few days the little bit of hair remaining on my head turned into a thousand needles it was so awful the hair was pretty much dead and just a small tug and it was falling out .. Kevin's dad had came to this point when he was going through chemo and he decided to uses duck tape to lift the hairs that were about to fall out . I decided to try this as I was at the end of my rope it was painful. I couldn't lay my head down as it felt like I was lying on a porcupine and a million quills were sticking in me .The duct tape worked well (And Yet Another use ) It was some what disgusting and I know look like a skinned cat but I felt relieved and was better to sleep .
Round 2 chemo appointment time 230 . The situation across Canada re iv anti drugs ect are not available , as a results just more pills to take prior . The nurses at the cancer centre are awesome they had their patience tested with me today in the end they had to do 3 iv sites from the troubles working with a caustic substance the red cool aid . 3 and a half hours later I was done . It took much longer to administrate then normal a port will be requested to solve these issues .
I felt like crap last night and took meds and was prob asleep by 8 slept well ...Very nauseated at the moment Going to try to do a little moving and stretching... laying around is not good .
I had a few great friends over had some drinks and laughs and yes some tears . Overall it went really well and It was the best decision .The past few days the little bit of hair remaining on my head turned into a thousand needles it was so awful the hair was pretty much dead and just a small tug and it was falling out .. Kevin's dad had came to this point when he was going through chemo and he decided to uses duck tape to lift the hairs that were about to fall out . I decided to try this as I was at the end of my rope it was painful. I couldn't lay my head down as it felt like I was lying on a porcupine and a million quills were sticking in me .The duct tape worked well (And Yet Another use ) It was some what disgusting and I know look like a skinned cat but I felt relieved and was better to sleep .
Round 2 chemo appointment time 230 . The situation across Canada re iv anti drugs ect are not available , as a results just more pills to take prior . The nurses at the cancer centre are awesome they had their patience tested with me today in the end they had to do 3 iv sites from the troubles working with a caustic substance the red cool aid . 3 and a half hours later I was done . It took much longer to administrate then normal a port will be requested to solve these issues .
I felt like crap last night and took meds and was prob asleep by 8 slept well ...Very nauseated at the moment Going to try to do a little moving and stretching... laying around is not good .
Tips for women newly diagnoised with breast cancer
I am almost half way through my total treatment time, and I Have gained a wealth of knowledge . I believe it is power . It had helped me prepare for each leg of my journey . The following is a list of some tips that have helped me prepare .
**Learn everything about your disease . You can do it at your own pace but when you are diagnosed everything moves quite fast and it helps to be prepared . When you get together with your health care team ,you will receive a lot of pamphlets on everything . Take the time to read as later it will be mandatory to go to a chemo class and everything is disused there.
**Get your self a day timer or book , there will be many people phoning you about appointments and what not .Its good to have to jot down any questions you may have to your surgeon or oncologist.
**Keeping my mind busy has helped throughout this as well as keeping my body relaxed . I bought puzzles, games , books , there is going to be some down time through surgeries, chemo and radiation.
I bought a how to belly dance for fitness ,even got a bunch of hip scarves to make it fun . I find these videos really good at relaxing the body . You will need to do specific exercises after surgery and this video is very comparable to what is needed to prevent frozen shoulder for example.
**Lean on someone , you will feel better if you are open and have someone in your life to release all the fears and emotions.
** Prepare for side effects, breast cancer is merciless to a woman's body first you will more then likely have surgery ,depending on your cancer or your choice you will have a piece or your whole breast remove . You can't deal with with all aspects of your disfigured body until you are through treatment which will depend on individual cases but in the meantime , Get yourself a comfortable bra ,front closer and one that has lots of support like a sports bra, I like to wear a lot of tank tops that are cotton for sleeping and just around the house. You maybe going home with a tube under your arm for a week, if there is lymph node involvement.
** Drink water, put healthy foods in your body , and try to get your rest. I had to take sleeping pills .At least I know I will get 4 hours.
**Prepare for hair loss, not all chemo will have that effect but your oncologist will inform you.
My hair was half way down my back and as soon as I was diagnosed I cut it to my shoulder , then a week before chemo cut it short . I went shopping with family members and pick up a cheap wig , scarves and hats . It made me feel better knowing I had something to wear on my head . It was good to include loved ones as it helps them to prepare for your new look . A week after I started chemo I arranged for a few friends to come over I picked up a few wigs and shaved my head ,We had fun with the different looks . I also registered for a look good feel good program I will be attending this tonight with my bff Cheryl
**Stay positive! Its normal to have bouts of depression but there is always a light through out any hard time in your life . I see that this is not my life... its just a year in it ! It will bring me closer to loved ones and make me yet a stronger woman .
** make sure before you start chemo you have some easy foods at home to eat , Jello's Popsicles,soup, crackers ,ginger ale , hard mints ,yogurt, cheese, fruit and eggs.
There are more tips to come just a few for now . Hope this helps someone out there in their journey.
**Learn everything about your disease . You can do it at your own pace but when you are diagnosed everything moves quite fast and it helps to be prepared . When you get together with your health care team ,you will receive a lot of pamphlets on everything . Take the time to read as later it will be mandatory to go to a chemo class and everything is disused there.
**Get your self a day timer or book , there will be many people phoning you about appointments and what not .Its good to have to jot down any questions you may have to your surgeon or oncologist.
**Keeping my mind busy has helped throughout this as well as keeping my body relaxed . I bought puzzles, games , books , there is going to be some down time through surgeries, chemo and radiation.
I bought a how to belly dance for fitness ,even got a bunch of hip scarves to make it fun . I find these videos really good at relaxing the body . You will need to do specific exercises after surgery and this video is very comparable to what is needed to prevent frozen shoulder for example.
**Lean on someone , you will feel better if you are open and have someone in your life to release all the fears and emotions.
** Prepare for side effects, breast cancer is merciless to a woman's body first you will more then likely have surgery ,depending on your cancer or your choice you will have a piece or your whole breast remove . You can't deal with with all aspects of your disfigured body until you are through treatment which will depend on individual cases but in the meantime , Get yourself a comfortable bra ,front closer and one that has lots of support like a sports bra, I like to wear a lot of tank tops that are cotton for sleeping and just around the house. You maybe going home with a tube under your arm for a week, if there is lymph node involvement.
** Drink water, put healthy foods in your body , and try to get your rest. I had to take sleeping pills .At least I know I will get 4 hours.
**Prepare for hair loss, not all chemo will have that effect but your oncologist will inform you.
My hair was half way down my back and as soon as I was diagnosed I cut it to my shoulder , then a week before chemo cut it short . I went shopping with family members and pick up a cheap wig , scarves and hats . It made me feel better knowing I had something to wear on my head . It was good to include loved ones as it helps them to prepare for your new look . A week after I started chemo I arranged for a few friends to come over I picked up a few wigs and shaved my head ,We had fun with the different looks . I also registered for a look good feel good program I will be attending this tonight with my bff Cheryl
**Stay positive! Its normal to have bouts of depression but there is always a light through out any hard time in your life . I see that this is not my life... its just a year in it ! It will bring me closer to loved ones and make me yet a stronger woman .
** make sure before you start chemo you have some easy foods at home to eat , Jello's Popsicles,soup, crackers ,ginger ale , hard mints ,yogurt, cheese, fruit and eggs.
There are more tips to come just a few for now . Hope this helps someone out there in their journey.
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